There is one Christmas song that gets me every time. Even if I have heard it 5 times already on the radio in the same day, I literally cry every time. It is "The Christmas Shoes". I don't know why it touches me so much. I guess it is because the boy is loosing his mother at the worst time of the year to loose a loved one and because he is so thoughtful about his gift. And because of the help of a stranger, he is able to give her the gift.
Anyway, tonight I watched the movie and I cried so hard through most of it. It isn't a very well made movie and some of the acting was terrible but it really hit me and made me think about my own life. My biggest fear lately is that I will die and have to leave my kids. I do not want someone else raising my kids (although, I am so lucky to have wonderful, completely capable family and friends who could take them if needed and would probably do a better job than me). I feel like I have so much more to teach them and so much more I want to experience with them. I don't know why this has been weighing so heavily on my mind but I guess if I do die before they are grown up, I just want them to know that I love them so much and I loved being their mom. And, thanks to the Atonement, I can always be their mother. The older I get the more I realize that this life really is short. If we can just do what is right and endure all of the bad things that come with living in this world then we can be so happy in the next life and be together.
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